Crying myself to sleep is what it took to get me back to writing. I don’t know how long I will be back. But for now, I’m back.
Visiting my family is always a highly stressful emotional rollercoaster disguised in the alluring costume of a vacation. This visit is no different. I broke out in hives three times after booking my flight and wondered if it was an odd coincidence. Assessing the stress that is consuming me now that I have landed here, I realize that it was not.
The dark cloud, the shadow of the Monster, is suffocating me at the moment. A wave of painful memories has washed over me, throwing to shore all the baggage and scars I haven’t yet all figured out. I am trying to find my breath.
Through it all, I keep fighting. Holding on to that light at the end of the tunnel. Determined to believe that every painful, tearful moment here rehashing old traumas is akin to therapy and will make me stronger and clearer in the end. I have to believe it.
